How To Make $5 from AdSense in 1 Year
Have you ever imagined to get $5 from Adsense in 1 year? Ever?
People like Jason Calacanis of Weblogs and Jason Miles Jr. & Kato Leonard of FreeWebLayouts get an estimated value of $1,000,000 each year from their websites, but you don’t have to be like them. Imagine getting as few as nothing for a month. On top of that, you can achieve that without doing as much work as they do.
Well look no further. With these 10 secret techniques, you are well on your way to achieve not just $5 a year, but even less than that.
1. Pick a boring topic for your blog
This is easy. Don’t write about something interesting or unique. Everybody else is doing that. Why don’t you be different? Talk about your study or how you spend your time 10 hours in the library. Tell the audience what did you buy in the grocery store today and who did you meet on your way home. Think about something boring. Anything. People won’t come to your site, and less people to click your ads. That’s one step towards success already.
2. Don’t update regularly
Don’t bother eating your heart out trying to think of something to publish everyday. Leave your blog unattended for weeks. What’s with the hard work? Just lay back and relax. If your blog readers are loyal to you, they will surely wait for your next update. What’s more, they will keep coming back to check whether you’ve updated your blog or not. Isn’t that great?
3. Social network? Avoid.
A waste of time. You should be doing nothing. It’s too much work. Why do you need to socialize with other fellow bloggers? They are not the ones who will be clicking your ads anyway. So why bother? Keep your network as small as possible. It’s harder to maintain good relationship with other people if you happen to know too many people.
4. Don’t let anybody know about your blog
Just let Google crawlers do their work. They are designed to find your blog anyway. So just let them do their job. Concentrate on more important things such as, watching the NBA finals or strolling in the park with your wife and kids. Update once and leave. Get away from your computer.
5. Stick your ads anywhere you like
Testing and experimenting with your ads placement is time consuming. Why would you waste your time on that? Stick in anywhere you like. Somebody will surely click on it no matter where you put your ads. And pick any size you want. The bigger the better, right?
6. Pick a ridiculously confusing template - and add some bugs while you’re at it
This is a great way to project yourself in the community. Be different. Use a lot of flash, distracting colours, Javascript and every other elements that can help crashing the audience web browsers. People will again avoid your blog and less people means less click on your ads.
7. Don’t just write in English, mix it with other languages as well
Confuse Google by writing in different languages, if you happen to know other languages apart from English. This will create a lot of weird ads that have nothing to do with your post whatsoever. And most of the time, it’s the sort of ads that will make people think before clicking. Hesitation of the audience is good for your $5 target.
8. Never attempt to increase the traffic to your blog
Keep the traffic to your blog as low as possible. Well if you pick a cheap and free webhost that offers only a few Mbytes of bandwidth per month, you don’t want the traffic to exceed that bandwidth limit do you? You might get yourself into trouble dealing with ‘love letters’ from the host itself. We don’t want that to happen. Less hassle is better.
9. Target the cheap keywords
One of the most effective ways in getting $5 a year. Concentrate your contents on cheap keywords and repeat that keywords a lot in your less-than-frequent articles. This will generate lots of cheap ads. Low traffic + cheap ads is like a match made in heaven.
10. Disable comments or be rude to people
Don’t allow comments in your posts as this will make yourself miserable all the time. What do they know about your style anyway? Don’t let these comments get into your life. Just follow your own style. Don’t listen to others. Quick, disable those comments for a better life.
Bonus Tips : Keep this post in your notes. Save it in your computer. Stick in on your wall. Remember them. Digest them. Keep repeating them all the time.
I can guarantee you that these techniques will get you to your $5 target in no time. In fact, you can also end up with nothing. Try them, they really work.
Unless you want to put a lot of effort into this monetizing your blog, then you can always do the opposites. By the way, John Chow has released an ebook containing most of his previous postings and advice that you can also follow, if you think making $5 per year is not fun and relaxing enough. You really want hard work don’t you? Go on, download it, but don’t forget my 10 secret techniques. These will really help you a lot in your journey to make money online.
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Comments
hahahaha…i laughed all the way while reading this. seriously. you are crazy. do you know what i am saying? anyway, i like your style. keep on writing dude.
LOL. At one point, I was a bit sceptical whether anybody will get what I was trying to point out.
Steve, that title you proposed might be a good idea. 
Syahman, keep on reading. There’s plenty more to come.
I did, and got $5 in a year :-D. That’s where the idea came up. But I’ve seen people got less than that. So I’m not lonely in this case
How To Make $5 from AdSense in 1 Year…
This post from Ahmad Affzan lists ten tips that you can use to make five dollars or even less in a year from adsense….
Rudeness works to a point — if you aren’t careful, people will click the ads just to get back at you. If that happens, you’ll make $5 in a day.
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hahaha, this is awesome! I had a good laugh reading this, thanks! I love #10, but it does work sometimes, like that guy Maddox (http://maddox.xmission.com)
Glad you all liked it. #10 sometimes works for promotion, but I don’t think you can generate income from adsense by being rude. You’ll get a lot of hate emails like maddox instead, that’s for sure 
Keep this list in mind and don’t even try doing it if you wanna make some money from adsense
This blog is just over 2 weeks old so I don’t really expect to get $5 in 2 weeks time, although it’s not impossible
oops, I hope everybody takes the post as one of my attempts to implement sarcasm in my daily blogging activity. Well, you could try to do everything I listed there, just for fun. See where it takes you to
when i first visit this blog today, I saw this is the most popular post. curiosity lead me to click the title and i start laughing all the way
Is this true story? If yes you might consider include it into ‘You ask for it’ series. Lol
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Very interesting point of view. LOL
I’m sure you will attract some attention on the headline. . . .
From a marketing standpoint it’s extremely well done.
Is your next post. “how to get into debt with ……”
Steve